Bernard "Ben" F. Healy Jr.

Obituary for Bernard “Ben / TK / Tutu Kane” Francis Healy, Jr.

(1932–2025)

Bernard “Ben” Francis Healy, Jr.—Chicago-born, Irish-blooded, and for seven decades Rockford-rooted —died peacefully on December 8, 2025, at 3 a.m. He was ninety-three. In classic Healy fashion, he timed his exit for a family birthday, ensuring maximum narrative flair.

Born just after the Depression on July 30, 1932, to Bernard F. Healy and Kathleen Fleming. Ben was the fourth of five siblings, Joan, Patricia, Murna and John. He grew up with a quick wit, a curious intellect, and a talent for laughter that became part of the inheritance he leaves his family. A son of the era, Ben also developed in his youth a skill of “spending less than he earned” – another legacy for his family!

He graduated from Loyola University on February 2, 1955, with a Bachelor in Commerce, and earned his Juris Doctorate on June 13, 1956. On August 20, 1955, he married Mary Gallagher, beginning a partnership that would span more than seventy years.

Ben’s legal career began at Sears, where he practiced tax law with the precision of someone who genuinely liked order, fairness, and a well-structured argument – but tax law lacked one important ingredient - people. Therefore, it was in family law, practiced for more than fifty years in Winnebago County, that he found work that aligned with his nature. As a State’s Attorney and later in private practice, Ben brought steadiness, empathy, and a belief that the law could be one mechanism to balance out injustice and achieved fairness. Ben’s reputation rested on his clarity of thought, integrity, and commitment to his clients.

After retiring from the practice of law, Ben spent twenty years teaching What in the World Is Going On? at the Rock Valley College CLR, where he engaged participants in stimulating discussions and lively dialogue about current and world events. Ben was a revered teacher and often rated himself “Best in Class”.

His devotion to community matched his devotion to the law. Ben volunteered extensively with the National Alliance on Mental Illness, served as President of the Winnebago County Bar Association, and offered years of guidance as both member and President of the Board of Stepping Stones. He was involved in a variety of local community groups like Hospice, The Red Cross, Knights of Columbus. Service, for him, was not a performance but a responsibility—a way of showing gratitude for his opportunities and privilege.

Ben was also, unmistakably, a connector of people. He believed that relationships were the real architecture of a life, and he built them everywhere he went. For more than thirty years, he gathered with his beloved bridge group—known informally, and proudly, as the “Friends of Goren.” For over thirty-eight years he attended AA faithfully, sustained by a community of honesty, endurance, and grace. And for decades, he played in a standing golf foursome where the scores mattered far less than the company. Ben knit people together—not loudly, not deliberately, but naturally, by inviting them into conversation, sharing ideas, remembering their stories, and offering the kind of presence that made people want to stay. No person was ever too big or too small for Ben’s attention; he greeted everyone with the same dignity, respect, and genuine interest. To Ben, every person’s story was worth hearing.

His wit was quick, warm, and precise, his storytelling effortless. He wrote poems—one every St. Patrick’s Day, without fail—that blended humor, memory, and affection in the way only he could. His memory was legendary. Facts, jokes, experiences, names, histories—he carried them all with astonishing clarity, retrieving them as needed to illuminate a point, ease a tension, or brighten a room. And yes, Ben loved an audience. Not for (too much) applause, but for companionship—for the chance to share something meaningful, or funny, or simply human.

With Mary—his partner in love, thought, and lifelong dialogue—he raised five children: Mary “Eileen” McCarten (Rich), Therese “Tracy” Healy (Greg), Maureen Wirth (Alan), Bernard (“Ben”) F. Healy III, and Patrick Healy. The Healy home was a lively place where thrift met intellect, where debate coexisted with affection, and where laughter felt like a structural support.

Known to his grandchildren as TK or Tutu Kane, Ben delighted in the next generations—Michael, Katie, Grace, Elizabeth, Michelle, Christopher, David, Katherine, Chloe, Liam, Lucie, and Milo—and the great-grandchildren who followed: Elijah, Theodore, Ruby, Eliza, Connor, Owen, Piper, Elliott, Avery, Guinevere, and Josephine. He was excited to meet his newest great granddaughter who will arrive this February. He followed their interests, their fears, their hopes, and even their musical tastes with genuine, undiminished curiosity.

As we say goodbye, we offer an Irish blessing, adjusted gently for a man who never stopped asking questions:

May the road rise to meet him. May the wind be always at his back. May his questions find welcome in heaven. And may the saints be ready for his stories, his poems, and his memory that forgot nothing important.

Ben is survived by his wife Mary, sister Murna, his five children, 12 grandchildren and 11- soon to be 12- great grandchildren who will miss him deeply, honor him faithfully, and continue the tradition he lived so naturally: to think, to listen, to laugh, to serve, and to cherish one another with time and care.

In lieu of gifts and/or flowers, the family welcomes donations to Stepping Stones (https://steppingstonesrockford.org/donate/donate-now) or a charity of your choice.

A memorial Mass for Ben will be held on Thursday, December 11, 2025, at 11:00 a.m. at Cathedral of St. Peter, 1243 N. Church St, Rockford, IL 61103. Visitation will be held from 9:00 a.m. until the time of Mass. A reception will follow at Rockford Country Club, 2500 Oxford St, Rockford, IL 61103, starting at 12:30 pm.