John N. Tobias Jr.

With heavy hearts, we announce the passing of John N. Tobias Jr., 78, of Rockford, Illinois, on April 29, 2025. Born in Madison, Wisconsin, to John N. and Iyla Mae (Coon) Tobias Sr., John led a life defined by perseverance, integrity, deep love for his family, and a lifelong passion for sports.

John grew up in Round Lake, Illinois, where the foundations of his lifelong values and interests took shape. As a young boy, he shared a newspaper route with his sister Jean—splitting the neighborhoods on their bikes, collecting subscription payments door-to-door, and learning the importance of discipline, responsibility, and earning your way. Winters were spent skating on a frozen lagoon two blocks from their home, where he and the neighborhood kids shoveled snow to clear the ice and played hockey until dark. It was there that his love for the game of hockey first took hold—a passion he would later pass down to all three of his sons. Saturdays often meant time at the bowling alley, where John bowled alongside his dad and brother Jim in the local boys’ league and tournaments—laying the groundwork for a lifelong enjoyment of the sport. Summers were filled with long days at Round Lake, swimming out to the raft with siblings and friends, and enjoying a kind of freedom that today’s world rarely allows.

Music was also a meaningful part of his early life. Beginning around age eight, he and Jean took weekly accordion lessons, walking more than ten blocks to Main Street through rain, snow, and summer heat while carrying the heavy instrument. John had a natural ear and a remarkable memory—often performing his favorite piece, Lady of Spain, for their grandfather, who loved to hear him play. They practiced faithfully and shared the accordion for nearly eight years, performing in small recitals throughout their childhood. That early discipline and joy in music quietly carried forward into his own family, as all three of his sons would go on to play instruments in school band. His late son Austin, in particular, showed a remarkable musical gift—especially on the guitar. He had an intuitive sense for melody, rhythm, and improvisation, and his playing reflected the same quiet passion and depth of feeling that John brought to everything he did.

It was also during high school band that John met Ronnie Milich—who would become one of his closest and lifelong friends. They shared a love of music and spent countless hours playing pond hockey together, forming a bond built on shared passions and easy laughter. That friendship would last a lifetime, with Ronnie standing by John’s side as best man on his wedding day.

John proudly served in the United States Air Force from June 1967 to March 1971, achieving the rank of Sergeant (E-4). He began his service as a Basic Airman at Malmstrom Air Force Base and later deployed to Vietnam from 1970 to 1971 as part of the Pacific Air Forces command. Shortly after arriving in Vietnam, John experienced his first small arms fire attack—diving into a foxhole already occupied by a fellow airman named Pete Rumsey. In the chaos of that moment, two young servicemen seeking cover found something far more lasting: the beginning of a lifelong friendship. Pete, who had arrived earlier, quickly took John under his wing, and the two supported each other through the challenges of their deployment. What began as a moment of survival grew into a bond built on trust, loyalty, and decades of unwavering friendship. Stateside, John continued bowling in the base league, earning multiple 300 games and embracing the camaraderie that always surrounded his favorite sports. For his honorable service, he was awarded the Vietnam Service Medal (VSM), National Defense Service Medal (NDSM), Air Force Good Conduct Medal (AFGCM), and the Small Arms Expert Marksmanship Ribbon (SAEMR).

Following his military service, John earned his MBA from Northern Illinois University and built a successful career as a Senior Vice President investment broker at Merrill Lynch. In 1975, during the firm’s training program in New York City, he met Ted Oakley—another young advisor who would become a lifelong friend. The two roomed together while preparing for their careers, launching their professional journeys by day and sharing laughter and adventures in the city by night. John held Ted in the highest regard and cherished the friendship and mutual respect they built from those early days.

He married the love of his life, Phyllis Prostko, on January 20, 1979, in Lyle, Illinois. Together, they built a life rooted in love, mutual respect, and unwavering commitment to their family. Their marriage was a true partnership—marked by selflessness, shared values, and quiet acts of devotion. As parents, they poured their time, energy, and hearts into raising their three boys, never hesitating to make sacrifices so their children could pursue their passions. From early morning practices to long drives through snowstorms and weekends spent in cold rinks, John and Phyllis were always there—together—offering encouragement, support, and a constant presence in the stands. John believed that family and relationships were life’s most valuable treasures, and nowhere was that more evident than in the life he shared with Phyllis: a home filled with loyalty, laughter, purpose, and unconditional love.

John’s passion for hockey carried on well into adulthood. He continued playing recreationally at the old Polar Dome in Dundee—back when the boards were still lined with chicken wire instead of plexiglass. In those years, he formed lasting bonds with friends like Ronnie Milich and Joe Zych, sharing a love of the game that extended well beyond the rink. They played together in midnight adult leagues, then headed out for drinks and a 2 a.m. breakfast at the Corner Kitchen—creating memories as enduring as the friendships themselves. His passion for the sport endured throughout his life, and he proudly passed it on to all three of his sons. As a father, he was deeply involved—serving as the unofficial team videographer, braving snowstorms and early mornings to make it to games, and offering steady encouragement no matter the scoreboard. His presence, both in the rink and in life, was unwavering.

Golf was a lifelong passion for John. He was a dedicated member of the Rockford Country Club, where he competed in club championships and numerous ProAm tournaments—his favorite being the time he played alongside Jim McMahon and Jay Hilgenberg. Golf wasn’t just a game to him; it was a source of joy, discipline, and lifelong learning. Through the game, he taught his sons patience, resilience, integrity, preparation, and grace.

Of all the lessons John passed down to his children, the most enduring was the importance of staying positive—even in the face of adversity. He deeply believed that your mindset could shape your reality, a conviction rooted in the teachings of Viktor Frankl and lived out in his daily example. Whether facing setbacks in sports, challenges at work, or hardships in life, John always focused on what could be learned, how to move forward, and where to find gratitude. He taught his children that while we can’t always control our circumstances, we can choose our attitude—and that choice makes all the difference.

He also instilled in them the value of hard work and perseverance: that nothing meaningful comes without effort, and success isn’t handed out—it’s earned through discipline and preparation. He firmly believed that mastering the fundamentals—whether in hockey, golf, school, or relationships—laid the strongest foundation for growth and character. These lessons, passed down through quiet guidance and daily example, shaped not only his sons’ achievements but the kind of people they became.

He and Phyllis were lifelong members of Holy Family Catholic Church, where their quiet faith offered a steady presence in their lives and home.

John is survived by his beloved wife, Phyllis; sons, John (Michelle Lynn) Tobias III and Adam Tobias; cherished dog, Jari; sisters, Jean (Steve) Tobias-O’Brien and Mary Jo (Michael) Nash; and treasured friends, Pete Rumsey, Ted Oakley, Joe Zych, Nick Milich, and Margie Milich. He is reunited in heaven with his parents; his son, Austin Tobias; his dogs Griswold and Mr. Beau Jangles; his brother, James “Jim” Tobias; in-laws, Walter and Lucille Prostko; sister-in-law, Helen Prostko; and dear friend, Ronnie Milich.

The family wishes to extend heartfelt thanks to Dr. Mardini at the UW Cancer Center, the staff at the Cath Lab at UW Health, and the ICU team at UW Health Swedish American Hospital.

A memorial service will be held Sunday, May 4, 2025, at 3:00 p.m. at Fitzgerald Funeral Home & Crematory, 1860 S. Mulford Road, Rockford, IL. Visitation begins at 1:00 p.m. A private family burial will take place at Valley Memorial Park in Spring Valley, IL.

In lieu of flowers, donations in John’s memory may be made to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital—a cause close to his heart.

“Papa T,” as he was affectionately known, taught us that life, much like golf, isn’t about perfection—it’s about character, perseverance, and enjoying the journey. He will be dearly missed, but the way he lived—with humility, heart, and quiet strength—will continue to guide those who loved him. His lessons live on in every act of kindness, every moment of resilience, and every person he inspired.